I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
