just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
