I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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