i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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