you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
