sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
