our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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