I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
