She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
