Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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