dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you win again, gameday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
