The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
