Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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