Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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