My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
