I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
