well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
