bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
