found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
