But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Mom said you looked used
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
