it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize