Hey man sorry I got all grabby
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
