AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
