He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
