can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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