Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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