My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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