I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
