Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
