Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
