Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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