He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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