I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
