She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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