So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
