Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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