its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
