Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
