I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she smelled like a LAN party
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
either way he was missing a nipple.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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