kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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