AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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