Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
