i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
