margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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