lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
