Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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