if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
True strength comes from lack of pants
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
