dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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