i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
