im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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