just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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