cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
