That's intense
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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