dude i'm inner monologue high
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
