oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
