Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
