If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
