When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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