My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
