Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm both gender and math confused
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
