I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
