I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Randomize
